The boat was relatively on time today. Two minutes late is a good day. The sky was a high, cool curtain of white clouds -- a nice break from what has seemed like five months of heatwaves. I sat in the top deck quiet room and listened to a podcast.

It came time to disembark, and I stood near the front of the crowd, knowing how slow I walk and how tight that connection to my bus always is. We were released into the cattle chute and I started my march eastward to Third. On the way, everyone had to go around/step over some homeless people who had just laid their stuff and their bedding right across the narrow bridge that connects the terminal with Marion Street.

I missed a couple traffic lights and started to fret about my bus. As I waddled down Third toward Columbia, I saw it down the block, approaching the red light. So I waited across the road. I waved my arm to get the driver's attention. I was ten yards away.

The light finally turned and I started crossing, still waving to the driver. He ignored me and pulled out into the lane. HEY! I shouted. HEY!! The bus blew right by me. I couldn't believe it. Because I am eight and a half months pregnant and hormonal, I had to sit down and cry for a minute or two. Fucking asshole, I thought. Fuck this pathetic, provincial backwater of a "city" and its joke of a transit system.

So that's why I was late to work, again.

But today is the penultimate day. It's to be expected. I think every day this week I have been presented with some kind of public transit incompetency in my commute, or at the very least something irritating. Maybe the coup de grace tomorrow will be a 45-minutes-late ferry that causes me to miss my doctor appt!

Anyway. Eating lunch at my desk now. Leftover green beans and mashed potatoes from last night. Mmm. Snack later will be a pear and a slice of cheese. I will attempt to avoid being tempted by the junk food. I realized today that being at home will vastly improve my diet. No more eating out, no more desperation candy bars. It will be lots cheaper, too.

Last night I did not sleep well, as always. Woke up multiple times to pee or change positions or otherwise sit/lie there trying to get back to sleep. At some point around 4am, Kona woke up from a bad dream and started howling/crying like she does when she has one of her little doggy nightmares. Brian and I both got out of bed to go hug her and pet her. I feel bad for thinking this is the cutest thing in the world.

1. Package departs Memphis, TN, Saturday 1/3 at 6:18pm. Scheduled delivery date is 1/8 (today).

2. Package arrives Salt Lake City, Sunday 1/4 at 11:38pm.

3. Package spends the next two days sitting there gathering dust for no particular reason.

4. Package departs Salt Lake City on 1/6 at 8:17pm.

5. "ADVERSE WEATHER CONDITIONS", Seattle, WA 12:28 am, early Wednesday (1/7) morning. Of course the big rainstorm didn't start until about 12 hours later.

6. Package arrives in Portland, OR (?!) on 1/7 at 10:51pm. It is presumably still there.

The rain from last night has closed a long section of I-5 between here and Portland.

One imagines that if my package hadn't lingered for two days in Salt Lake City, presumably so that it wouldn't arrive early heaven forfend, it wouldn't now be made LATE by weather.

Who knows when I'll get it now.

File under: First-world problems.

So I went to Nordstrom on my lunch to pick up the hot Paige jeans husband bought for me for xmas (had to be altered, like all my pants). Anyway they are awesome. Then I decided to get a lip gloss, something nude and neutral to wear over lip color or alone, etc.

I browsed around and was then pounced upon by this chick from Smashbox. I have never used Smashbox cosmetics and don't really care to. She had me try on a few of their glosses. They were fine, stickier than I like, but whatever, not as bad as MAC, which is like glue on your mouth. Then she was all, "can I touch up your makeup?"

This is where ladies, one needs to learn to say "no". I need a reserve of excuses... "sorry, I'm late for a meeting!" "I think my water just broke!" Or something. But I am a doormat so next thing you know I am in her chair being made up like a drag queen. I asked for "natural" but they never listen to that. This chick had black AND white eyeliner on UNDER her eyes. It was unsettling.

I had to stop her after she had filled in my eyebrows (I never do that) and applied blush to my FOREHEAD. She also wanted to put mascara on me (I was already wearing some) so I said no and looked meaningfully at my watch.

She spent a long time telling me how I should wear primer under my foundation. It's just enough for me to even wear foundation, and it took ages to find one I even liked (Chanel), but I accepted a deluxe sample anyway (Makeupalley rates it a 47 out of 100%). Then I caved and bought the lip gloss. A pink one! Oh, Jane.

I walked away, pissed at myself and covered with makeup. Grr. I made my way to the Chanel counter and used a sponge to remove some of it. Then I saw that they had the *nude* lip gloss I fucking wanted in the first place. I cleaned off my lips and tried it. Success!

So yeah. I returned the first one, five minutes after buying it, and got the one I wanted. It all took way too much time and now I am hoping I don't break out before I get home tonight. I'm sorry that girl will lose her commission, but it's my money, dammit.

Oh and during that whole thing she said "I'm not a pushy salesperson." Sure.

I am starting to feel like I will never, ever have clear skin. Ever. There will always be blackheads, whiteheads, spots, no matter what I do, what products I use, what I eat, no matter WHAT. This has been going on for twenty years and I am SICK OF IT. I have been to the dermatologist, and used many, many topical rx products. I have taken accutane. I have used every fucking treatment under the sun, expensive to cheap, EVERYTHING, and it still has not gone away. I will never, ever have clear, smooth, unblemished skin. Ever. Thanks dad.

It is raining steadily. I got to sleep around 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning, which necessitated staying in bed until 10:30. Ugh.

I left the television on until the middle of the night, tuned to a radio station, which is one cool feature of comcast cable. I listened to BBC World News as I drifted in and out of sleep, soothed by those refined British accents. The cats lay at the foot of the bed and I sprawled my body into Brian's side. I think they notice his absence. Of course they do, they're not dumb.

Today's goals include: taking things to the cleaners, visiting library, putting gas in the car. I was going to visit Seattle today, but my back is sore and it's rainy and bleaaaahhh. I'm a baby.

I should also do some stretching. My body is sore from the poor sleeping, I think.

SO MUCH COMPLAINING. Sorry.

Today I got my period and then later on I had a long cry. I have a good husband.

Except,

Do you think the five-year anniversary of our first date should be commemorated? I do, he don't. He says he'd rather celebrate the wedding anniversaries instead.

Five years though! It's a big deal to me, I dunno. Maybe I am overdoing it.

I am emotional today though.

We are waiting for UPS. Then we go downtown. I am feeling isolated, tending toward wearing slippers all day. So I think on our coffee trip I will go ahead and wear my superhot shoes.

I am also getting sort of bored and lonely. That feeling can rapidly get worse, I am sensing.

The procrastination w/ regard to the book is reaching epic levels, which may explain why the house is so clean. At least I'm not watching TV.

Brian is flying down to SF in two weeks, for six days. I am going to be all sad and lonely. Or I might be? I have never lived alone before. The only thing I can compare it to is when I lived with a roommate and she went on a long vacation. I just hope I will sleep okay. I doubt I will be able to convince any of my local friends to keep me company, as I am out in the sticks.

I am bored, no work to do, I am a lame duck.
WX is crippled by DNS issues.
I am a bit stuck on the chapter I've been writing and may need to put it aside and back track to the hard work I need to be doing with earlier parts.
I'm having a pretty good hair day.
Wearing: black sneakers, new bootcut jeans, black & gray striped t-shirt.
Listening to: Elliott Smith and Feist and the Breeders
I should be making that to-do list for tonight.
If I forget to buy canned cat food again I will feel very guilty.
Paying rent and giving 45-days notice tonight, oh boy.
We will probably have to paint over the beautiful colors we put on the walls of our horrible apartment. One coat of landlord white.
Back hurts, I need to take a walk outside.
I feel bouncy, bored, etc
Someone chat me up.

I dreamed that I was acting as the casting consultant for the film adaptation of my novel. I watched someone's audition and looked down at the script. The director asked me what I thought, was the actor right for the part? I don't remember what I said, or much else.

I would gripe about how our landlady just raised our rent for the third consecutive year without making a single improvement to our unit -- while also buying herself a new and modern kitchen -- but it would just anger me again and we are leaving soon enough anyway. So.

It's always so cold in San Francisco. We don't get seasons here.